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What is vanishing twin syndrome?
The term vanishing twin is used when one of the fetuses in a multigestation pregnancy dies in utero and is either miscarried, reabsorbed into the uterine lining of the mother or into the living twin. It is as if nature sacrifices one so that the other can survive.
It is estimated that 10 – 15% of pregnancies have a vanished twin and nowadays that rate is higher due to increase in fertility treatments, such as IVF. However, because the loss of the twin can occur before the first ultrasound, parents and doctors might never consciously know that this happened.
The bond between twins is even stronger than the bond between mother and child and the loss of a twin is deeply felt by the one that survives, who experiences the death of the one they are closest to before they are born.
Could you be a vanishing twin survivor?
Here are some characteristics that could point at having a vanishing twin:
- Feeling of loss
- An unexplainable feeling of guilt (survival guilt)
- Feeling somehow undeserving
- Melancholy or grief that accompanies you in life
- Constantly searching for something or someone (“soulmate”, spirituality, partners friends….) but nothing seems to be enough
- Longing for close relationships, projecting that sibling in the role of a friend or partner and it being too much for the other (especially if they do not have a vanishing twin).
- Sabotaging close relationships (fear of losing the other again)
- Feeling of not belonging
- Feeling left out or left behind
- Don’t like to celebrate birthdays
- Struggle to love oneself/self esteem
- Overly responsible
- Buying things in pairs
- Working for two
- Fascination by twins
If you resonate with many of these, there is a possibility that you may have had a twin when you were in your mom’s womb. A family constellation could help you to see if this may have been your case and, if so, to give a place in your heart to your twin so that you yourself can take your own place in your family and therefore in the outside world.
““Our heart is the first organ that develops in our mother’s womb and it never forgets the twin with whom it shared its first beats.”
~ Marina Toledo
Join us for the next Family Constellations Online Workshops: Ready for a Shift, where we set up constellations on any issue that arises.
In my next thematic workshop, The Light of the Moon we will be focusing on healing the bond with our mother and our female lineage to open ourselves to the wisdom and joy of the feminine. Join us on May 22 and 23, 2021 from 11:00 am – 3:00 pm EST.
Also, the Family Constellations training module The Couple Relationship and Parenting starts on May 27, 2021 and lasts 5 consecutive Thursdays, 11:00 – 2:00 pm EST.
57 Comments
I feel silly posting this here but i deeply believe I am the survivor of a Vanishing Twin. Im 24(M) and i fondly during my childhood I remember pretending I was playing with another boy who looked exactly like me. Whenever doing stuff, playing or whatever, i would do it in a way as if i was explaining it to someone. I have no doubt i am one and every day i miss him dearly. I have so many memories that have him implanted in them even if he didn’t make it with me, i feel he’s still with me in spirit.
thank you so much for your share. I am sure he is smiling from where he is as you remember him and wishes you a good life.
I tick off 90% of those. It explains a lot. I was born in 1957. According to my birth certificate I was born female. But I dreamed, during childhood, that there was a boy inside me who was only allowed out in my dreams. I also discovered during childbirth that I have a male skeleton and cannot give birth except via cesarean.
I thought for years that I was a walkin soul because I have never felt completely connected to this body. My mother had emotional trauma during the pregnancy because my father cheated and got a young woman pregnant, so divorced him before I was born. She then remarried a year later and gave birth to fraternal twins, boy and girl, 2.5 years after I was born.
I have some work to do. Thank you so much. I’ve done so much work, but there is still a block to fully realizing the life I’m meant to live.
There was a period in my childhood when I was dreaming about having a sister (I have a younger brother). Recently I had a laparoscopic surgergy. The doctor found 15 cm big teratoma and removed it. Never heard about vanishing twins before. For sure I will talk to my therapist about this and also will go to family constellation, because I feel so sad when thinking about I carried my twin in my body for 40 years and now he or she physically is gone. Also I feel guilt because I survived and the twin is dead. I’ve heard something about saying goodbye to vanishing twin. I don’t wanna do that, it doesn’t resonate with me. I feel I wanna give him or her space in my life.
Dear Maja,
Yes!
Those are common feelings among surviving twins.
Its important to give your twin a place in your heart and to honour them by living your life, remembering them when you do.
Soul hug,
Marina
My 4 month old is a surviving twin. I have a suspicion that I am too, bit I’m not the issue here.
When he laughs in his sleep I tell myself that his twin has come to play, and since it’s often followed by a distressed cry, I imagine that this is his twin leaving again.
When do I start telling him about his twin? How do I support him and his mental health around this topic?
I did medition and it came to me, I am third child not the first. I got the message that first was Martina, and second my twin Monika. My mum was young when I was born and she always said I was her first so it is quite surprising to get such insight. I dont think I have vanishing twin syndrom but since I remember I wanted to have a sister and ideally twin sister. I have a younger brother. I get fascinated by twins, I was very melancholic in the past, I always feel soke kind of dualism, never happy in one place, continously looking for something else. I have no guilt I am just surprised that I am third. What to make out of it?
Marina,
I was in your workshop today and learned of my vanished twin for the first time. She will never go unseen ever again. Thank you so much for this profound revelation and the healing it brings. You are truly doing God’s work. Hope to work with you again soon.🙏🏿
Hi Brittney,
It was such a pleasure to meet you and to walk alongside you and witness the reencounter with your twin! I am sending you a big soul hug!
This SO resonates in me. I had a cyst on my tailbone when I was in my late teens. It was irritated and began to grow when I had a bad fall roller skating. The back of my skate flew up and hit my tailbone hard. I thought I had broken it. Consequently, it caused the cyst to grow. When it burst after treatment, my doctor told me there was hair and teeth in the cyst, and that it was an undeveloped twin. I found that interesting and just continued in life.
I have always struggled with many of the effects of VTS. I won’t get into those but I believe this article makes it all make sense. I am now 68 years old and can look back on my life, in light of this article, and truly understand myself better. The failures I’ve experienced are more understandable now.
I am pretty sure that when I was pregnant with my first daughter that she was a twin. I took numerous tests they all came back positive. I ended up having some spotting so I went to the ER and told them that I had taken numerous at home tests that were positive so they did a blood drawl and my HCG levels were a little higher than normal which led them to tell me I was having a miscarriage. I wouldn’t have been very far along at the time maybe 5-6 weeks that’s all so they did no other testing and sent me home with the diagnosis of Miscarriage. I never really had a full fledge period just spotted a few days and that was all. 2 weeks later I felt something was off and took another test, it was still positive. I was 16 at the time and just knew something was off. i ended up having complications during the pregnancy. My daughter, who is now 20, was diagnosed with IUGR when I was around 12 weeks. I was very closely monitored and watched my entire pregnancy with her. I had told the DR what the ER had stated and he said that there could have been a twin and that is what the spotting was. I ended up having to be induced with her because she stopped growing in my stomach at around 35 weeks, I was 37 weeks when they induced me, she was considered full term and as soon as that happened they wanted to get her born so she would hopefully grow outside the womb. She was born at 5lbs 9oz. She was so tiny. She had health problems as a child, asthma, had to have her tongue clipped, Early Intervention therapy due to not meeting the standard milestones as a baby/toddler, numerous ear infections, and more. My daughter(20) has always struggled with her mental health from early on in childhood. She has a very low self esteem, depression, anxiety, social anxiety and a very bad fear of abandonment. She is very co-dependent when it comes to relationships that she is in. Reading into VTS makes so much sense as to some of the things she has struggled with. My DR back then never stated that it was this, but did state it was possible she was a twin. So i guess my question is, any other mothers go through something similar like this, as to where it was never confirmed to be VTS but had that gut feeling that something was off and reading into it now makes so much sense?
There weren’t self pregnancy tests when my daughter was conceived, but I experienced much the same thing. I experienced some spotting and extremely light flow for 3 days after breaking up with a boyfriend. A week later I had an experience that led to a brief, beautiful encounter. 3 weeks later I was waking up sick every morning. 2 weeks later I finally went to the doctor and was told that I was 6 weeks pregnant. I wanted nothing to do with the boyfriend, so never said anything to him. Fast forward 42 years and my daughter finds her biological father. Her father is the one I had the brief, beautiful encounter with. She may also have an absorbed twin.
I’m a vanishing twin survivor and i was wondering if i have a higher chance of having twins now?
IM BRANDON MARTIN BORN 2002 THE 27TH OF THE 10TH MONTH WITH MY TWIN SISTER WHO PASSED AWAY AT TWO DAYS OLD AS I HEARD BUT I KEEP HEARING HER VOICE SHE WANNA SEE ME AND SHE WANNA COMMUNICATE ITS QUITE HECTIC BUT ITS TRUTH IM KINDA STARTING TO FEEL SHES ALIVE TOO CAUSE SUCH BONDS WITH MY TWIN SISTER WILL NEVER GO AWAY EVEN THO I FOUND OUT LAST YEAR ONLY I HAD A TWIN SISTER BUT BEFORE I FOUND OUT I KNEW AND ALWAYS KNEW I HAD ONE CAUSE I FELT SO
Hello Brandon, I’m so sorry about that I too had a vanishing twin, I made a mistake and communicated with my twin, gave them a name and since my aura was cracked due to trauma it stuck with me ever since. Your twin sister’s spirit doesn’t understand love like we do, I’m not saying that their spirits are evil but they do envy their surviving twin. It is sad but I’m trying to help my twin to pass and to finally be free. Trapping them and attaching them to ourselves is very dangerous. They sabotage relationships, friendships, cause blockage of the spirits and cause health problems. Spiritual attachment is extremely dangerous even if it’s your twin or a relative.
Hi,
I have been researching this since I went to my NET appointment earlier today.. this was the first time I heard of vanishing twin.
I have always had a fear of being alone, never felt whole. And all the other feelings..
From as far back as I can remember, I always wished for a twin, in my childhood mind I planned to have a son and twin girls..
My strongest emotion has and still is fear of abandonment and resentment.
When my practitioner saw I triggered for the 2nd trimester from conception, she stood back and asked me if I had heard of ‘the vanishing twin concept’, I said no, so she was about to start explaining it to me and she didn’t even say anything when I started crying uncontrollably.. it was so strange for me. But I couldn’t stop crying for atleast 5 minutes.
Eventually she explained what it was and the session continued.
I started to read about it when I arrived home as I have been randomly crying and feeling so somber for no reason..
I have felt and still feel so much resentment! Why was I left on my own? I didn’t want to be here – I have always said this my entire life.
And the other one ditched and left me to deal with life on my own.
I never really understood why I had so much anger and fear of being alone, now I guess I do.
But I don’t know what to do now, I’m angry and upset, how could I forgive that betrayal? I’m so deeply sad too, always have been and felt hurt on a different level to others, never felt understood by anyone.. Being left alone from such an early time.
It doesn’t seem fair.
I feel the same way. It took me over a year to process the grief, and a practitioner helped me identify my twin was a “lingering spirit” (Ron Horner has a book on this). When she was released I think I started to process the grief over time, in the normal way. One of the things that helped me at first was that I bought one of those silicone fetus models at the age I my mother said she was when she was miscarried. There are dozens of people who make them and sell them on ebay or etsy. The one I got came with a little diaper and outfit. It just helped me visualize her, remember her, and acknowledge the reality of her. I remember seeing her in the womb and “playing” with her, but I didn’t accept those were real memories until I had the tangible model. I wish you well as you process… which you will!
44 years old, I am a vanishing twin survivor confirmed my dad beat her out and since then have had numerous NDE. I have known since birth I was missing something. I also know that my shine reflected on the people around me and will bring thier bad or good out. I have an ever present force around me that i am unable to protect myself from but seems to make the people around me better. I was result of violence in a marriage and fathers hate for his own insecurities my life has been a constant barrage of pain. I know I’m living with 2 souls in one body and that universe doesn’t like that, thats unfortunate for the universe because I don’t care. Love you all
This article has given me much insight to my daughter Maya . She was a twin sharing the same sac , the other I named Hope . She vanished at 5 months in the womb . Maya has known about her twin from an early age , we even have a tree planted for Hope . Maya has had personality issues , mental health problems from an early age . She was recently diagnosed at the age of 19 with Borderline Personality Disorder. She is devastated by this diagnosis . I know this is from childhood trauma and the only trauma I could really think of was her birth , forceps and needed to be revived . Then as I dig deeper I found the vanishing twin syndrome ! Perhaps this is a root cause of her problems ! I have given her as many articles as I could find and feel your content and the readers comments may settle her down .
My older brother is 78 years old.
I am curious as to whether he might be a surviving “mirror” twin.
Physical signs are left-handedness and right-hemisphere “engineering” brain, and a smal vestigial extra nipple under his armpit.
Very intelligent, attractive, and caring man, but shy to the point of agoraphobia.
Our parents are deceased, so can’t question them.
Our mom told me that he was a dutiful but melancholic child.
Youngest of four consecutive boys, he was often left out of “the team”.
He was a prized lefty baseball pitcher, Little League California champion.
Very chaos averse and routine oriented. He worked for the same aerospace company from age 21 to retirement.
I’ve read a lot about the softer science of personality traits, He would never take a dna test, and if I mentioned my suspicion it would upset him terribly, so I won’t.
My main query (sorry, I suffer from TOO MANY WORDS) is whether ther is anything in the medical literature that finds the left-handedness and small covert nipple in correlation with vanishing twin syndrome. I’ve looked everywhere, but your site is the only one I’ve found that allows for reader input…so admirable!
I am a vanishing twin survivor, I am 53 and knew of my twin from my tenth birthday, because I asked my mother, where was David? I think I broke not just my mothers heart but also my love of any celebration as well. I Dread Christmas as this is my darkest time of year, each year, Can I survive once more, or is this the last one? I guess I will just have to wait and see.
Hi,
I have a question as I’m a bit confused about my situation in particular and I don’t know how to go around it to start healing:
I’ve done a session with a therapist who strongly believed I have the vanishing twin syndrome, as I have many of the characteristics.
When talking to my mom, she says she’s 100% sure I’m not a twin but that, however, her best friend was pregnant as the same time as she was with me. This is a person who’s so close to our family I always called her auntie (she passed away a few years ago).
My auntie’s baby passed away at 3 months old. My mom was still pregnant with me at the time, about to give birth.
She didn’t go to the baby’s funeral for feelings of guilt that her baby is still alive in her womb.
I’ve always been told about this baby and how we would have been same age and how we would have played with each other.
My auntie went on to have another baby 1.5 years later, a girl, who I then shared my childhood with.
Could I have vanishing twin syndrome over someone who wasn’t actually my twin?
Has anyone come across a similar case?
I haven’t done family constellations myself, just had a session with a therapist that has knowledge in the subject.
Thank you
I am a surviving vanishing twin. Was discovered at age 30 when after years of suffering of pain in left shoulder, had two cervical ribs removed..They were extra ribs and l still have more on my right shoulder but they don’t bother me..Also have a whole set of upper teeth and two fused tailbone. Always have felt s
Thank you, Anamaria! Yes, it sounds like your twin was physically absorbed in you.
Do you know what she might be called?
I am 68 years old. I always felt like I had a twin who died, When I was 10 I even started telling people that I had a twin brother who died at birth. My mom was surprised when someone asked her about it – not sad or angry, just surprised. She found it to be humorous.
If I had a twin who died at birth, I never understood how so many people could’ve kept it a secret all these years. I am my mother’s 1st child. She was young, happily married, and healthy when pregnant with me. To me it didn’t make sense that I weighed just a little over 4 lbs at birth. My mom was always adamant that I was not a preemie, but was a full term, 9 month baby. My 5 siblings were 7 to 10 lbs .(all 6 of us are my mom and dad’s biological kids) The article on vanishing twins was quite an eye opener. And It made so much sense because it explained how I could feel that I was a twin and yet nobody seemed to know about it. It also explains my low birth weight. When I was born my parents were told to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. They truly did not know if I would live. I had lung problems & stayed in the hospital for a month after being born. Dr’s notes are no help. They only documented when I was fed and had a diaper change.
You sound like you were probably the survivor of “twin-to-twin transfusion” syndrome. That would explain your low birth weight, even though you obviously lost your twin at an early enough point that your mother wasn’t aware of a twin pregnancy. My twin was miscarried at 4 months, and my mother saw her within a blood clot she passed. She was convinced she lost the pregnancy, but the doctor could still hear my heartbeat and told her it was only a clot. But she always said it was shaped like a fetus. I didn’t put two and two together until it came up during energy muscle testing. I also tested for twin to twin transfusion, but don’t know if I was the donor twin or the recipient.
I came here by searching on line.
I am 62 and in 1980 when pregnant I ended up in hospital bleeding after being punched in stomach by my husband. Back then, we had no ultrasounds in Europe and director of gynecology was taking care of me. I spent 2 months in hospital At first, I was told I carry twins by the looks of it. But two weeks after I was told the pregnancy is not progressing right. Was put on meds, got cerclage.
The rest of the pregnancy went fine and when my son was born, I heard the nurse saying “look, there is additional placenta”!
Was told not to worry, having healthy baby boy. My son was incredibly smart, extremely well behaved, above and beyond his age. Very eager to learn. He started having mental problems in his late teens.
He took his life at 22. He would be 42.
I always wondered if somehow he could know about his twin that vanished before birth..
After reading here, I am almost 100 % sure that somehow he knew.
It is heartbreaking not knowing what my son went through in his mind till he had to end it.
I thing there were other reasons and triggers but could the vanishing twin affect him so bad?
Reading about twins is fascinating and, happy and sad.
I wish all that experienced any part of it the best.
Dear Mia,
Thank you for sharing your experience and my condolences for your deep loss.
There are probably various unconscious dynamics that could have contributed to what happened to your son.
In relation to vanishing twins, I can share with you from my experience facilitating constellations that even though the living twin may not know consciously that there was another one, the soul does know. In your case, since there was another placenta, that is very telling.
Warm regards,
Marina
I don’t fully understand this
I know that my mother had an abortion some years before I was born.
Then my “line” within the sibilings would not be being the oldest one but the one in the middle.
How is it going to afect my life to identify myself as the middle child instead of the oldest?
I dont see how that is so important. I am asking with respect , not to critizise.
Also I feel that would be harsh for my mother who has been a very loving mother and just did that in the past because of fear.
Acording to many masters, I may be the exact same soul who was about to come in the pregnancy that she stoped
Because many times if a pregnancy fails due to miscarriage or abortion, that soul who didnt encarnate yet comes later throught the same mother in a future pregnancy.
How can that be reconciled with this ” take your place in the line” theory?
It resonated alot I have every lone of those points
Thank you for sharing, Emma. The soul knows.
Warm regards,
Marina
Hi Laya,
Thank you for your comment.
In Family Constellations we see that, at the soul, unconscious level, when we take our correct place in our family system, we have more strength in life. I would invite you to do a simple exercise and see if it resonates with you: place two pieces of paper on the floor. Step on the one to the right of the other and say (mindfully, consciously): “I am the first. Then take three pieces of paper and step onto the paper in the middle and say: “I am the second one and you are the oldest, dear brother or dear sister, and I see you now.” And see how it feels for you.
Warm regards,
Marina
Hi – I am 53 years old and last week, through a therapy I’ve been doing called Neuro Emotional Technique (NET) I learned that I am a womb survivor and experienced the loss of my twin. This explains so much of my grief throughout my lifetime – a sadness that was always underlying everything from as long as I can remember. I have only just begun to process this but considering hypnotism, channeling, and will continue peeling the onion with my NET practitioner. Although sad, it is a relief to finally understand where this has come from. It hasn’t been easy – 30+ years of many different forms of therapy and coaching to get to it. The thought of meeting with other womb survivors is intriguing as I’m sure there are things to consider that others have already discovered.
Dear Katie,
Thank you for your share.
Yes, it is often a relief to bring to our awareness the origin of these unexplained emotions we have been carrying (such as grief).
It is very liberating and life enhancing to imaging speaking to the dead twin’s soul to acknowledge them and give them a place in one’s heart and to honour them by living our life. I congratulate you on the deep work that you are doing and wish you all the best!
Kind regards,
Marina
Thought I would drop in and say hi as your story sounds a little like mine .
However It has never been confirmed that I was born a twin but I have always had an underlying sadness that has no logical explanation.
For over 18 years I have had constant challenge with needing to constantly clear my throat and I have wondered if unresolved grief is the underlying cause.? (Apparently in TCM the lungs store our grief )
When I was a young child I would wander the streets for hours alone and in my own world. Don’t recall feeling sad but I think it was my way of managing my feelings of unexplainable loneliness and the need to escape from realty.
Meanwhile at home my mother would be frantic with worry but when I eventually wandered home blissfully unaware of the panic I was causing my mother was so pleased that I was home that she just hugged me close ( Perhaps subconsciously I created that scenario to reap the benefits? ) So the next day I would do it all again !
I was obsessed with babies and would look for ‘stray’ babies. I remember very clearly nearly baby napping a baby from its pram one day.
I also remember standing outside the shop window of a baby shop staring for ages at a baby doll hoping if I stood there long enough they would give it to me.
I was doll crazy way past the age that little girls played with dolls and I remember taking my doll on a tram (much to my older sister’s disapproval)
I tried making pets out of caterpillars and frogs and didn’t quite understand why they ran away but finally at about age 5 or 6 I was the proud owner of two mice.
Still I wandered the streets looking for stray dogs ( my dogs have all been strays)
At school I was called ‘Cry baby’
because I think I cried every day. Always and still do feel like the odd one out and feel like something is missing Plus I have a strong sense of belonging but the challenge is where ?
Now I am 80 years old and still feel like a cry baby. Anything at all will start me crying.
I am still searching for another lost soul but console myself by calling out to the birds and talking to all the dogs I meet at the doggy beach
Still hoping to find a stray dog. (Or stray man) or even a cat would do. Lordie !
Probably my addiction to Internet dating is just another form of searching for the missing part of me ?
‘ Hopeful cry baby’ is my name.
To finish on a brighter note. Lately I have found that EFT really helps.
It’s exhausting trying to be cheerful while part of me is crying so let’s hope I have found a way to bring some relief to my perpetual sadness.
Julie
PS people often comment that I have a Cherry happy outgoing personality but little do they know the true me hidden behind my smile.
PS Two Healers believed I was supposed to be evolved as a twin and one time during Breath work I experienced the anguish of not wanting to leave my twin brother behind and travel alone down the birth canal. (But then I doubt myself and wonder if it was the power of suggestion? )
I’m 61 years old, and a survivor of the vanishing twin theory! I don’t know why it took me so long to investigate any further, but I’ve recently removed myself from an irrational society! I remember my mom talking to me about it when I was younger! Was born at an infamous osteopathic hospital in Ohio! I’ve spent a substantial amount of time recently researching osteopathic medicine and vanishing twin syndrome! Specifically the possible interactions of the two subjects! Any help that I can find here, would be greatly appreciated!
As far as the symptoms above…exactly!
Hi Steve, thank you for your share.
I invite you, if it resonates, to imagine that you are seeing your sibling in front of you in order to acknowledge them, give them a place in your heart and let them know that they belong, even if they left after a short time. Allow yourself to express freely whatever you have been feeling. When we do this soul movement, there is often a release and a sense of relief.
Wow! I do relate to a lot of these symptoms, especially these: (I never felt my parents and I were a complete family, it always felt like someone was missing when the three of us were together)
Feeling of loss
An unexplainable feeling of guilt (survival guilt)
Feeling somehow undeserving
Melancholy or grief that accompanies you in life
Constantly searching for something or someone (“soulmate”, spirituality, partners friends….) but nothing seems to be enough
Longing for close relationships, projecting that sibling in the role of a friend or partner and it being too much for the other (especially if they do not have a vanishing twin).
Feeling of not belonging
Feeling left out or left behind
Don’t like to celebrate birthdays (My mom says as a child I used to fall sick around every birthday and today too, somehow I end up not celebrating my birthday)
Struggle to love oneself/self esteem
I have a few questions:
1) What are the symptoms faced by parents of a vanishing twin? (My mother had a fibroid the size of a small football that had to be surgically removed along with her uterus when I was about 12-13 years old. It literally sucked out her blood and left her perennially anaemic for years. My father to faced massive challenges.)
2) Can the vanishing twin be reborn in the same family; either in the same or future generation? If yes, would they face any challenges? (Almost every generation of my family [grandfather’s, father’s and the generation next to me] has had twins, except my generation and one or both of these twins have either died young or been miscarried or have a genetic disease – as in the case of my nephew)
Hi Jarna,
Thank you for your heartfelt comment.
It sounds like you resonate with a few of the usual symptoms of a vanishing twin survivor.
With regard to your questions, sometimes parents are consciously unaware that they lost a child and through a constellation it may reveal what is happening at the soul level, which may be quite different. There may be a deep sense of loss and sadness/emptiness that is unexplainable or even guilt as well. Each person and case is different.
The most important aspect, from the Family Constellation lens, is to acknowledge the unborn twin and give them a place in one’s heart and to honour them by living our life.
Kind regards,
Marina
I recently turned 28 and always knew I had lost a twin, after grieving a pregnancy loss myself and going through the spiritual/physical experience of it myself. I started questioning how it might have been for my mother and if she gave my unborn twin the acknowledgement she/he deserved… I had been told little after in a astral reading that I have always had a strong connection with death since before I was born and in fact through that have the gift to feel things a lot stronger than other people, now I understand that our connection was always present.. also noticing I am a lot paler than both my parents almost dead like white.. and have dark circles under my eyes since I was a child. During my first pregnancy I was also told there were 2 sacs but ended up with one daughter. I am constantly connecting dots and finally understand so much about myself..
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Rose.
Thank you for this article. I believe I have this issue. I have yet to confirm with my mother but I was informed of this in a healing ritual where angels were called in and this is what they told me. That I had a twin in utero and I absorbed her when she died. This was many years ago and I did not really focus on it that much, it seemed kind of crazy at the time.
Now I’m doing shadow work, after all the years, and this suddenly came up again. I think the underlying feeling of unexplainable guilt I have is this. That I am alive and she’s not. I have most of the symptoms above. Except I don’t buy in pairs and I’m actually kind of intimidated by twins. Maybe it’s because it hurts without even realizing. I run a small animal sanctuary, and they way I found almost all of them was alone, abandoned and scared to death. I have a deep empathy for animals (and sometimes people) who are left behind, excluded, alone. I also have a very deep fear of abandonment and losing my loved ones.. As I’m writing these it got very intense emotionally. I’m still holding on to the guilt and feel like never doing enough good for the world. I thought the guilt came from a past life but I think it’s from this. I even know what her name was going to be. I have to forgive myself for this and let it go now.
Dear Merve,
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Often times mothers are not aware that they might have been carrying twins when one of them is reabsorbed, since it may happen before there are any tests.
What you describe as guilt could very well be related to survivor guilt, which is often felt when one passes and the other survives.
Since you have a knowing of her name, I invite you, if it resonates with you, to prepare a beautiful surrounding, perhaps light a candle and imagine you are speaking to your sister’s soul. You could start with some soul sentences, for example: “Dear (Name), you are my sister and I see you now. We were together for sometime and then you died and I stayed and when the time came I came into this world without you. I have missed you so much, dear sister. Know that you will always have a very special place in my heart and in our family. I am aware that I have been carrying guilt, dear sister, because you did not make it and I did and from now I will think of you when I do things I love and honour you by living my life fully until it is my time to join you again.”
Thank you for this!! I truly believe that my daughter is a surviving vanishing twin after everything I have read and the symptoms I encountered more than 23 years ago, including hearing two heartbeats at my first appointment at 8 weeks and then one heartbeat the next visit. My daughter represents all of the symptoms you talk about in reference to being the survivor. She has been searching her entire life to feel “whole!” I hope she will now look toward grief counseling for healing. Yesterday a palm reader stated “oh you have 3 children, a single and a pair of twins.” I always suspected she was a twin, then after hearing that comment I got chills. I actually cried today over my loss of a child.
Dear Kim,
Yes, it is quite moving and mom’s have an innate knowing about this.
Yes, giving the twin a place in your hearts, figuring out your daughter’s proper order counting the one that left, and processing the emotions around this is very beneficial for you and. your daughter.
I wish you both well!
Soul hug,
Marina
Hello
My concerned question is do vanishing twin get or grow spiritually as we do? Like are we on the same age even though they never set foot here?
Hi Rebecca,
I believe that in that realm time is probably different from our concept of time.
What I feel is that they are in the soul path they are meant to and we are in the one we are meant to and when we give them a place in our heart and process the emotions of their loss, we connect more with life while we are on this plane.
Soul hug,
Marina
Hi:)
I’m a vanishing twin survivor. I have a feeling like my twin sister is the same aga as I am. That’s what I’m feeling.
Hope it helps
Hugs
Magda
Thank you, Magda! Yes, often twins of ones that left feel that way.
Soul hug,
Marina
I suspect that my son is a vanishing twin survivor.. I was 8 weeks and I had all the signs of a “threatened medical miscarriage/abortion” heavy bleeding, painful cramping and feeling nauseous from pain. Yet, when they finally did the ultrasound.. My one baby was fine. I wasn’t showing as much after that day too. My cervix was closed and yet I was having symptoms of miscarriage. When he was born his placenta was gray with a cluster of veins on the opposite side from his umbilical cord. I’ve suspected always he was a twin. Especially since his biological father has had another woman pregnant with twins too.(she unfortunately lost them).
Thank you for sharing your experience as mom of twins, even if one did not make it into birth.
Moms know.
Soul hug,
Marina
I want to know more about vanishing twin cz I have been told I’m da 1 who survived
Hi Sli,
There is a lot of literature about it that you can find online.
In addition, if you are interested in working with the soul so acknowledge your twin and give him or her a place and work on the grief/survival guilt, you could always set up a family constellation.
Best,
Marina
Knowing what a vanishing twin is and learning how to see and integrate him has finally answered many lifelong questions and explained that feeling of loss that has been there all my life!
Now this deep knowledge is what will help my triplets who also lost their sibling while in the womb to integrate her and see her and rejoice her instead of taking her burden!
Knowledge is power, and family constellation knowledge is healing, integrating, truth and liberation!
Thank you so much Marina!
I honour you, Muna, and the deep work that you are doing. It is a pleasure to accompany you on this journey.
Many blessings to you and your entire family system!
Soul hug,
Marina
Hmmm…how would you set up a constellation with a suspected vanishing twin? Place the twin and see if there is any resonance for the client? And if not, assume there was none?
Yes, that is a good start, and taking into account the other siblings too because it is very important that the person takes their place within the sibling line as well.