The Orders of Love Regarding Former Partners – Giving a Place in Our Heart to Your ExesApril 8, 2021
How to Heal Father Wounds by Taking Our Father into Our HeartJune 10, 2021
What is vanishing twin syndrome?
The term vanishing twin is used when one of the fetuses in a multigestation pregnancy dies in utero and is either miscarried, reabsorbed into the uterine lining of the mother or into the living twin. It is as if nature sacrifices one so that the other can survive.
It is estimated that 10 – 15% of pregnancies have a vanished twin and nowadays that rate is higher due to increase in fertility treatments, such as IVF. However, because the loss of the twin can occur before the first ultrasound, parents and doctors might never consciously know that this happened.
The bond between twins is even stronger than the bond between mother and child and the loss of a twin is deeply felt by the one that survives, who experiences the death of the one they are closest to before they are born.
Could you be a vanishing twin survivor?
Here are some characteristics that could point at having a vanishing twin:
- Feeling of loss
- An unexplainable feeling of guilt (survival guilt)
- Feeling somehow undeserving
- Melancholy or grief that accompanies you in life
- Constantly searching for something or someone (“soulmate”, spirituality, partners friends….) but nothing seems to be enough
- Longing for close relationships, projecting that sibling in the role of a friend or partner and it being too much for the other (especially if they do not have a vanishing twin).
- Sabotaging close relationships (fear of losing the other again)
- Feeling of not belonging
- Feeling left out or left behind
- Don’t like to celebrate birthdays
- Struggle to love oneself/self esteem
- Overly responsible
- Buying things in pairs
- Working for two
- Fascination by twins
If you resonate with many of these, there is a possibility that you may have had a twin when you were in your mom’s womb. A family constellation could help you to see if this may have been your case and, if so, to give a place in your heart to your twin so that you yourself can take your own place in your family and therefore in the outside world.
““Our heart is the first organ that develops in our mother’s womb and it never forgets the twin with whom it shared its first beats.”
~ Marina Toledo
Join us for the next Family Constellations Online Workshops: Ready for a Shift, where we set up constellations on any issue that arises.
In my next thematic workshop, The Light of the Moon we will be focusing on healing the bond with our mother and our female lineage to open ourselves to the wisdom and joy of the feminine. Join us on May 22 and 23, 2021 from 11:00 am – 3:00 pm EST.
Also, the Family Constellations training module The Couple Relationship and Parenting starts on May 27, 2021 and lasts 5 consecutive Thursdays, 11:00 – 2:00 pm EST.