Who can give you the strength to materialize your goals in life?
Your father.
When you think of your father, you may notice that certain feelings or sensations arise within you. Take a moment to tune into them, and see if they are similar to the sensations that come up for you when you need to assert yourself in the world, for example when you need to set boundaries or stand your ground.
Bert Hellinger observed that the person most excluded in families is the father.
After your mother, the most important bond for your wellbeing is with your father. When, at the soul level, we are missing our father, we lack a special strength that helps us in life and can only come through him. For example, if your father was not present physically or emotionally, or your mother did not allow you to have access to him, by rejecting him or speaking negatively about him, you may have grown up rejecting him.
We tend to see our father through our mother’s eyes and are loyal to her opinion about our father.
When we reject our father (complain, reproach him, blame him, etc.) it is felt as if we are rejecting part of ourselves, as if half of us is not worthy (of love, success, fulfillment in life, etc.) and we feel an inner void that we will always try to fill with external things. Such is the case with many addictions.
Taking our father into our heart, healing the wounds that we had as children and integrating him is a deep inner process that each of us needs to go through if we want to succeed in life. It is not always easy because each of us has a different challenge, a different wound and each journey towards our dad is unique. By taking the journey, we open the door to the masculine energy in its purest form and we integrate its qualities within us that will help us with how we are in the world.
Why is healing the father wound important?
Healing the father wound can help you with the following:
- Overcoming difficulties in your life
- Making decisions
- Setting boundaries
- Gaining clarity, logical and mathematical thinking
- How you allow others to treat you
- Independence, identity and self-esteem
- Beginning new things such as projects, relationships, changing jobs, moving, etc.
By healing the father wound, and taking him into our hearts, just as he was, we gain the fortitude to go into the world, take our place in it, and with the people and situations that come into our lives. Also, to reach personal and professional fulfillment, we need to integrate our father in us.
“If mom is the gateway to life, dad is the portal to the world.”
– Marina Toledo
Are you ready to begin the journey to take your father into your heart?
Join us for my upcoming Healing the Father Wound Online Training Module or register for a Family Constellations Online Workshop or go deeper in my Family Constellations Online Trainings.
His spirit
His capacity to love
His playfulness
Integrity
Ability to connect with people
His sense of Humor
His calmness
His warmth
His VOICE
His musicality
His curiosity
Love it, Bianca!
Good Heart
Perseverance
Courage
Nice! And I bet you have those too!
How can one heal if ,one has almost no memory of the father? I can’t remember his personality,so i could answer this question. I remember a few events mostly negative ones. Would family constellations still help?
I was looking into it for my 17 year old daughter but this would also help me. For her who has a very hard time vocalizing her feeling or being vulnerable, would a workshop help or goin to a private session be better?
Dear Sonia,
Even if one had never even met her father, he is part of you, and the body and soul remembers. Since this methodology works at the soul-level, it can show what lies in that realm, which is often quite different from what we consciously think. Also, the work that you do will also benefit your daughter so I would probably start with you, if you are interested.
Integrity
Perseverance
He cared sooo much
Responsibility
Conscientious
Beautiful, Heba! Thank you for sharing. I bet you have some of those qualities too!
Joyful, optimistic, seeker. I have been enjoying your posts and sharing with my family. This is greatly appreciated.
Wonderful, Paola, thank you! I am sure those qualities are in you too!
Success
Courage
Intelligence
Thank you for sharing these wonderful qualities about your father, Audrey! I bet that they are in you too!
Very interesting… In the Hindu tradition I studied, the Father represents Prosperity. Here I like your approach and explanation. My daughter suffers severe food addiction she would like to heal. Would you recommend we start with your next family constellation for 3 hours at $55? Is this session focused on Father?
For myself, I am dealing with a MS diagnostic and severe mobility issues. What would you recommend for me to get to the bottom and healing of this unfortunate condition I created in my life? I am open to healing.
THANK YOU
Dear Linda,
Yes, I would begin by coming to a Ready for a Shift 3-hour Family Constellations workshop to get a feel for the work and obtain the benefits of the constellations we set up, since they are for everyone in the group. After that, one could set up an individual session if desired. There will also be a 2 day workshop December 12 and 13, 2020.
Regarding your diagnosis, I honour the greatness of your soul.
Illness is very complex and multifaceted. Sometimes it is not related to the family system and other times one of the aspects of illness (since there are many) is that is points to excluded people in the system and brings other lessons/messages with it.
According to Bert Hellinger and his work with Family Constellations, the first movement is to look at the illness differently and take it into your heart as something that has come our way. To begin, you could imagine it in front of you, feel what comes up for you when you do and when you are ready say to it: “I see you. Please show me the way. Please be kind to me as I integrate what you have come to show me.”